I admit it, there are moments where i felt i wanted to be private and expose less of my personal issues but there are exclusive times that i wanted to extend my boundaries to share my thoughts, my feelings and my sorrow when i felt so, like this time. This very rare tims where i wanted to go naked as far as my personal stuff and issues are concerned. Maybe there were few posts that i shared, where i talk about my present bundle of joy. Yes i am in a relationship right now. I am attached to a foreigh borfriend for quite sometimes and all through out this days are struggle in maintaining a long distance relationship. Nonetheless, i cant see any issue between us as ive seen how he really works hard to keep the flame burning. Last night after we had a good talk, i realized how lucky i am to have him. A priceless possession that i wanted to take the best of care. The thoughts that no matter how busy he is with work, he still managed to phone me several times a day just to check how im feelin, when im down and now where to load my emotional garbage, he is just a text away and he will isncerely listen to me no matter how childish i am. In times of crises, where i needed someone to lean on, he was the only person who became visible and plan things out. Everyday, i am sometimes in doubt if he is the right man for me coz i am already afraid once more to carry a bag full of regrets but in the same way, every single day he always makes me feel like i am the only woman who matters to him. He may not be perfect in all sense coz we have our own share of arguments and fights, but at the end of the day, his imperfection is fine with me and when i realized i can accept his flaws then i began to accept the fact that he has indeed owned my heart. I hope one day like i always hope before, i can share once a more our story but at that time hopefully it would be a happily ever after ending like every single woman dreamed for. I knew its only Him who exactly knew where he leads my path and as to whom he wanted me to be with but at this very time, i believe im at the right path already. In his arms full of care, protection, loyalty, understanding and above all uncondtional love. It may not be so clear to me what exactly true love is but i believe i am feeling it this time, more than half of what it truly meant.
Sunday, March 27, 2011
Its easy to find a friend but its hard to keep it. As the saying goes "No man is an Island". Everyone of us seeks companionship to make this journey worth to remember. And once in this life, we can find a friend and sometimes friends that are not worth of your time. Friendship is tested based on your lifes ups and downs. When one person sticks with you in your odd times, then he is one of the few to keep. But sometimes you tend to disilusioned yourself about being with a true friend and afetr painful circumstance that when you realize, its better to keep off from her. I believe ive been acquinted to few people who have kept their footprints in my life, For one, i had a most trusted friend which i kept in my lifes cabinet all through out my 25 years of existence. We had each other for so long that we forgot the very day we realized, we were best of friends. I guess i have been the very best of friend to her and for sometimes she had been to me. But just recently, a painful realization took place. Though its hard to give a long journey of tested relationship for a petty argument but somehow when you think of the small things that she has done, then you realized that small thing hurt you a lot. There may be no words to explain how i felt about her at this moment coz i am becoming emotional, and i knew where i bound my limitations. I hate to admit that i am hurt and that i am hurtin by the exchange of words in between us, but no matter how i deny the fact that there is something going on between us, it will always goes out and show. I realized a friend can sometimes be negotiable, sometimes its tradable, sometimes its invisible. But more often that not, i want to believe that this is just one of the few tests we had. If it doesnt comes back, to where we were before, then its really meant to part ways. I can never trade a friend coz im a keeper but when circumstances came when TRUST is being a vital issue, sometimes i end up choosing whats good for myself and keeping the lessons in my heart.