Wednesday, November 26, 2008

Moving On

....dont just happen overnight, yeah thu ive thought there will be no more tears left, after an ayebag last night, still the pain creates a teary-eyed whenever i remember such things. I can still recall how i was so excited this weekend to visit their place, but then things were no longer the same as yesterday. I wish there would be a gadget who could just vanished all the pains in my heart, i wish theres a medication for broken heart like broken legs do, i wish theres a paracetamol to ease the pain and emptiness of moving on, and i wish there would be doctor to diagnose and prescribe the rights things for now so that in time i would be completely healed. but then as one of my friends adviced me, the best thing for now is acceptance, deal with the pain and accept the i did in my firsy heartbreakes. Thus sometimes i can say that i am alreday used to it, but then when you are already in the situation, still you said to your self, it hurts!.
The best option that i was thinkin as of the moment is to make myself busy with work, focus in my career and just wait for the right one to come along, thu i dont believe much in destiny but as theyve said, when you put one thing down, there something to be picked up. Maybe this is God's way to put things on accordance with his plan. I need to let him go because someone else deserves me more than he do.
Hopefully i would be completely over him, coz indeed it was an hard earned lesson.

Emotional Stuff

Here i am once again, after a quite a while, i am again ranting this stuff, but this time, its over. I just couldnt measure how much tears felt after all the realization that came out, it turns out that all those years, he was cheating me, not until tonight that ive read all his mails by coincidence. I didnt know how to react at first but then as sanity prevails, i keep myself relax and calm trying to figure out things as out of the difficult trials i had. Knowing him at first made me believe that the relationship would somehow works between us, but then as time goes by, it just turns out to be just one of my biggest dreams, and keping him just be exclusive would turn out to be a miracle. I knew this is too late for realization, but then i am somehow thankful for this early discovery, i knew i made a mistake once more, but then, who didnt!
There is no perfect person, and all along i was just praying for someone i would loved and love me back, a simple dream yet a dream unreachable. It so hard to long for perfection and never in my entire life i look for perfect set-up.,i just want simplcity in my journey but all along i was given a very hard road. There isnt easy, i knew.
As ive watched my wristwatch, it's past 1 in the morning and after all the pains that ive felt today i still manage to smile and i am positive that by tomorrow the sun will shine..and hopefully a bright day will await me amidst my heartaches.