Monday, February 1, 2010


Someone once asked me what my ideal guy is, is it someone so kind enough to be a very ideal husband? or someone who would hurt you not that ideal but real. I began to pause and think, would i choose the former or settle the one less chosen by many women. Somehow i began to believe that Divine Intervention is really true, once you pray and ask sincerely to GOD to give you a good man then somehow God will lead you to the right path, He will guide you every step of the way. When HE thinks the person you have right now will not do good in your life, HE will and HE would do somethin else to make you apart. THe pain is sometimes unbearable but as time flies you would eventually be thankful that it happened. When i promise to really get over with the man i once love, it was one of the most difficult decision i ever made, its like moving forward when your feet cant even move even a single space. Its like youre shoes had been glued right at that space because you wanted to hold on, you want for another try. Choosing to stay was not an option at that moment coz my heart knew that i was not anymore part of his dreams, but though i knew that holding on would just be painful, i decided to stay to know the saddest part of falling in love.
But when would enough is enough? is it when you finally realize that you cant breath anymore because of the tears and the pain that is dominating all over your body, or is it when you got over the pain, felt tired and suddenly be awaked by the thought that sometimes love means goodbye, that love is sometimes defined as letting go and wishing his happiness no matter how hard. That's what i did, when enough means cutting the rope so that i could move forward, its when leaving you sleepers right there and decided to move on even though how hard is it even to be barefooted. But at last i can say that ive made the right choice, ive decided to embrace the pain and accept the though that ive lost, i was defeated.
BUt though happy ending are just for movie and fantasies, im glad it had once happened in my life. His coming was very unexpected, I havent believe in him at first coz i was used to games and probably misjudged him. BUt id not give him any less of value, as time went by, i have finally proven that THe world is full of lessons and unending realizations. Its when you least expect him to be, is when he would suddenly prove his worth. Funny, God put things when you would suddenly have to think if this real. We really cant blame ourself from doubting if he is true and so as he, the distance is killing us. BUt wherever this path is leading to, one thing is for sure. I wouldnt forget the day he proved to my life, that its still best to wait.
Maybe our life has choices or is all about choices, it would be very easy for me to say that i would prefer my guy to be the one person so ideal, near perfect, after all thats what everbody is wishing for. But i choose not and decided not. Enough that i once had a mistake, and enough means being true, being realistic, being real. Its when you accept him as real when you would finally embrace life as an imperfect journey but worth of an experience.