Sunday, January 17, 2010

One More Chance

One more chance for one last time. And for the very last time, allow me to reminisce the memories that was left. It was already 1 year and 8 months to be exact when I became commited to my former bf. He was a sales specialist on a veterinary product and i was an admin asst before when our love story was created by time. There was no official or should i say formal courstship that happened, it was just civil and just one day i finally wake up that we are already a couple. He used to be in my place as often as possible, yeah because he needs to be in our office coz he covers too our verterinarian at that time, I admit it was one of my happiest days in my life, i was taught to embrace simplicity in life. When i was very strict before, hes coming allow me to understand imprefections in life. After 3 months of dating, i have discovered one shocking truth that changed the entire thing, he was involved with a woman before and they have lived in, worst they already have a child. That was the day i remember change the entire me, my tears cant talk how i was broken but my heart knew that healing will not happen overnight, i was being broken into tiny pieces. The moment he confessed that truth to me, he aske dme, if i could still accept him? I knew i was blinded by my love that time, i believe i dont have a choice, its hard to leave him but i realized it was harder to stay. I decided to allow our relationship to go on with the flow. Though its really painful i accepted his son and treat him as my own, he already introduced me to his parents and to some of the friends as well. I felt it was already complete that time, i wanted to believe, we already had a happy ending. But time proved otherwise, it was just one ordinary day when he missent a text message to me, before he knew it, i already knew that he was dating his fellow collegue who was a veterinarian by profession too. It tore my heart one more time, i felt i was really betrayed but no matter how i initiated the break up, its me again who will ask him to stay. No matter how hard our trials were, i was strong enough to fight every battle, i wanted to win him everytime someone selfish enough would end my happiness, but true enough, one sided love broke the see saw down, just mid of this year when everything finally ended. A friend called up to ask how we were doing, i tried to hide everything by merely saying we are doing great, but what i dont know is that things naturally fall to where it is destined for. Too late, i have found out that he was seeing a girl from Manila and he even visited her and spend some time with her, That made me so hurt and degraded, i just lived somewhere in this province but he did not come to visit me like a loving bf would. I still tried to save for the last time our relationship, And if ever i could just turn back the hands of time, i would probably just be there for him all the time back to the days when he was mine,so that he would not have the chance to look for another girl. But i was definitely so wrong, coz no matter how we loved someone, if they dont loved us back, it would just be painful to hold on...i realized i need to let him go and i need to let myself go too. I believe we need to seperate ways for us to grow and wait for the right time. One more chance doesnt fit us at all at that very moment coz i want to believe that we need the right chance to rekindle the old flame, the flame that made our feelings right.
My friend was indeed right, wounded knees are easy to heal than broken hearts, i have been broken twice and been wounded few times but i still look forward for my falling and rising and everything in between.