Thursday, January 17, 2008

i need u

life is so ironic, sometimes you have to be hurt in order to be whole again,,you have to find your half to make you whole,,,partly i can say that once, i have found him,but hes gone. i dont want to find him again, i want him to find me,,,shit,,i really hate it everytime i remember him, the emptiness, the memories just makes me sad..just like now, it just ruin my day whenever i see him...or should i say i hate to pretend that im ok, when im is full of pretensions,,and im sick of tired of it.

one day, i want to see myself,,,happy,,with whoever i am with,contented with his love and happy with in his i have to force myself to love him? its just so sad that sometimes you have to be unfair just to see his worth.but as what ive said,,sometimes you love those who doesnt love you and you take forgranted those who does......but the end of the day youll realize youve lost a diamond coz you were busy collecting stones..

miss u

im presently in a relationship right now, however its a long distance love affair, but nevertheless i dont have problem with the set-up and i feel loved and cared by my partner, thats the most important thing.
i was not really doing well last night, since i had a flu, i really feel bad about it because before when my bf was here, he would do the laundry for me and give me medicine and food if ever he would arrive early, but last night it was really different coz he was not at my side..i remember there was a time when my head was really aching and i couldnt go out to buy food, then suddenly i was awaked by a knocked on our room, to my surprised, i saw him with fruits, foods and med,,,hehehe,,hes really so thoughtful. that's what i missed him.
hes taking right now hes last exam for captain, thats why hes so busy,and after which hes planning to apply for international route.thu were talking about it already, im still very hesistant with the set-up, of course i want my man to be with me always but if its God's will, then ill trust his plan.
hes planning to come right after their exam, and if hopefully he can make it, anyway time flies so fast,,,without noticing we would be together again.....mmmmmmmmmmmmmm