Monday, July 7, 2008


im really not the type of person who bring along my stories, my frustrations to the open, but just to relieve this burden, i wanna just share my disappointments and my tears as well.
honestly, i felt broken..i felt empty...still dont know what to write this time,all i knew..i wanted to ease the pain..i just want to cry and cry and cry...and just sleep. hoping tomorrow, it would be a different day..
i dont dream for a perfect relationship nor look for someone so ideal,.a man who could just makes me laugh will do,.
i knew that relationship has its ups and downs, but i dont believe that it would bring all along the grief and pain..coz if he really loves me, he would look for ways not to hurt me either,,but every passing day, i always feel unloved, i feel being used, i felt that i am always alone, like i was before...whats the use of settling with the relationship?
It all started when i asked the typical question of "do u love me?" hopin he would reply with the most flattering the case maybe,,,but to my dismay,,he left me hangin,,and choose not to answer at all..i know i didnt have the right to question him, coz nobody could force us to say things, if he really doesnt feel it, he was just being honest..
and i was just a dreamer...
its also my fault,,,i fall in love,,i should take the pain, the consequence...
accept the fact that he doesnt love me, he will not love me...
i dont know,,,it still hurts...


Love lesson for the day

i always feel disappointed and frustrated in my relationship
i always ask "why?', i always wonder whay the feelings bothers me whenever
im with him, i want to believe that thi will just pass, and that
its just part of the adjustments, but id didnt..
My friends always reminds me to a fact that
a relationship should always brings something good for you.
it will give you joy, somehow, pain in some few times.
frustrations, perhaps and some sort of inspiration..
I always look for that things, in him, in us..
but neither do i felt some strange things..
neither do i feel inspired
neither do i feel loved...
The barrometer should be,,
When sticking with someone else
the determining factor should be LOVE
coz everything will come along...
as i always search for that feeling, for him..
i always end up with one realization..
that you can never teach your heart, nor can you force
to be in love with somebody else...]
it always feels good to fall
and i always look forward to that very day
that i will confidently say to all
"that at last ive found the one"