Tuesday, July 6, 2010

Domestic Violence

I talked to a friend just an hour ago and she told me about a neighbor of hers who is a victim of domestic violence but decided just to keep mum on about on it. According to her, she still believes that her husband will change eventually and that its just normal and its just part of a bumps on married life. I began to think if being a battered wife is also normal? is it? does that mean once you commit your self to the man legally, it also gives him the right to punch you as often as he likes, does that mean too that once your married it also follows of submitting your human rights to the one person you think who loves you completely. If that is the case, then eventually married life will turn out to be hell and i pity those women who becomes helpless because of the bind between them. What shall we do if in case we became a victim of domestic violence? Once you are punched by your husband every single day? are u going to report that to the authority and have him in jail? What about your children? What about your family's reputations? its at stake instantly, of course you don't want to offer a broke family to your children, of course you want to offer a picture of a great family with you and your husband with your children, but how about us> how about our feelings? Are we willing to sacrifice these abuses for the sake of your loved ones, Its so hard to decide on these things, that is why i understand why a lot of women who are victims of domestic violence who just keep mum and swallowed the punches of the man who once they believes as their knight in shining armor, and for once they believe as the person who will protect them - protect her. But now, its turned out that the person who will harm her and put her in danger. I wish, i really wish men could be more compassionate and understanding.


deejay4 said...

this is one of the biggest dilemma in Filipino family. having a happy family doesn't necessarily means like having a mom and dad... if mommy and daddy doesn't go along too well, it will gonna be a disaster, much stressful if any of then insists to be together.

ok this is getting long... i just don't think that you have to cover up for someone's fault just to be able to show others that you are a complete family!

and also! FUCK! those man who hurt their wives!!!!!

Matt Barnson said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Matt Barnson said...


Thanks for your thoughtful post on domestic violence. It really struck a chord in me. I wrote up a response on my blog at: http://barnson.org/node/1846

I appreciate your thoughts. Hope your friend -- or, now that I read closer, is it your friend's friend? -- can find the help she needs to figure out how to end the abuse or else end the relationship.