Perfect Reason

Sometimes no matter how busy we are, there would always be a moment where you feel so alone and there your emotional ups and downs will kill you, right? I have also my fair share of my daily grinds and lowdown moments like you do too. But its pretty normal, cause when we looked back it means we have totally moved on.

Sometime in my life's cabinet, there was a time where i completely fall for someone whom i thought was the one person i will be with forever, that was way before i met my hubby. Its also my fault because i jump in to a new relationship right after i broke up with my first boyfriend which i think at that time was my consoling buddy. I realized too late that i made a wrong move especially when i was already dealing with stuff i haven't deal at the past like third party issues, infidelity and commitment stuff. My first bf in all honesty didn't gave me so much headache unlike him which i completely deal a drastic love affair. I could remember how i cried several times, had my heart broken multiple times and how i deal with non-negotiable terms negotiable. I am speaking of accepting a third party for the sake of your relationship. Thats how bad it all fell. I mean the extreme part was when a colleague beg to leave the guy because he knew i was completely crazy dealing with his terms when it was beyond unacceptable. He was pointing out that it was stupidity keeping him when he cant even respect me. The bottom line was I'm afraid to let him go because I'm scared to be alone, to deal with being single. But then i realized that i shouldn't be afraid being single, i should have been scared living a hell life with him.

Three years had passed and now i am completely healed, had moved on and has finally put the tiny little heart pieces into a whole package. This time around, i am enjoying my wonderful years with someone i cant believe ill fall with, but i did. In fact, falling so hard. But if theres one lesson that experienced has given me, its the very core thing of loving oneself. I admit its very redundant as we all hear it left and right, but its simplest form is very crucial. We cant love others if we cant love ourself more and the most important thing, Never love someone completely. If possible leave a little one percent love for yourself so that when a day comes that he will dropped you, you still have a little one percent left to move on and carry your emotional bag.

In the end, regrets happen for a reason but if you've asked me if i had a trauma on love, yes i did but i still have hope for a happy ending, for every sunrise is my prayer for a great lovestory.