reminiscing the past

My past was already a closed book, they say it better to end whatever that caused you pain. its better to put a mark to things that really hurt us, that allowing them to hurt you constantly. i just did.and now im ready to talk about it, for past sake.

That was a few months ago when i was hit by cupids arrow, i have fallen in love to someone ive thought i was especial, those were the times when i thought i couldnt ask for more. I considered him the missing puzzle in my life. The relationship took us about quite a few months, months of arguments, moments i thought will be forever, moments i cherished the most. i do really love him that much. Sadly, it came to a point that he choose to have separate path, a path he would rather walk alone, a path he wasnt brave enough to walk with me. The decision he made, really hurt me badly, that was just the time i could remember, ever in my entire life that i cried really the entire night. I had lots of "if only i do this", "if only i do that". My faith was really tested that time, it was a tug of war between my feelings and what my mind really want me to do, but at the end of the day, sanity prevails.

The moment he choose not to hold my hand, God holds it, and after all that was said and done, i choose to accept my destiny, our destiny - that we were not really meant for each other. The aftermath was so painful, as it was like a castle that have been destroyed by wave after the great effort of building it. However, it was lately that i said to myself that i have appreciate what God has done for me, even though he had left me with broken hearts, he leaves a learning experience - not to be too trusting and learn to wait for God's best time.

To those who have experience pain, be glad of it coz it is a great oppurtunity in shaping up our life.Learn to accept failure and disappointments, coz love is also a game to play,you won if the one you love, loves you back and you lose if the person you choose to love, loves somebody else. I just had the later.,and looking forward in winning the next game.