Personal Saint: St. Jude

I remember a college friend way back on my teen days, when sometimes life was a bit ricky, she will always reminds me that life has its own ups and downs, and instead of being frustrated when time came that we are on our downfall, lets stop worrying and just have faith, and everything will just be alrught in time. I used to believe that until now, when i felt i am bounded by frustrations and pain, i end up praying so that GOD will take aways all my worries and fears. And indeed, it vanished. I dont know if you heared the story of St. Jude, He is the saint of the impossible, i actually dont have any idea about him until a great friend introduces me to him. Since we were in the same room before, i usually asked him who was JUDE, coz he just named him JUDE and he was always included in our conversation, not until i was left alone in the roon and noticed a statue that looks like a saint, when she arrived i asked her, if she was the JUDE she was telling to me, and she said yes. True, i never once believe in him but not until HE has proved how good he was, HE has made a lots of miracles and made the impossible possible. He is a great friend and a confidante. Now he is my personal saint, and i just love talking and communicating with him, He is really like a bestfriend to me and my personal saviour, so now when things really fall out, i just kept in my mind that St. Jude is there for me, always. To those who dont know yet of my friend JUDE, pls do just knock at his doorsteps and he will help those who invoked his aid, that's a promise.

Hearts Day

Funny how everyone were all excited for the coming of the most anticipated day for lovers. Some may even booked already flowers or stuff toys for their significant others. BUt for those who are loveless like me, i ought not to think about it instead. Last year was very memorable for me, we were together with my ex and had a great celebration. Yes, i sometimes envy those girls who were really so lucky to have their special someone with them, but i dont think i settled for less. I have my ever supportive, understanding and patient friend whom i considered the closest man i ever had now. Valentines maybe romantic in the real sense but nothing is more ideal and meaningful than to have someone you can share in happiness and in pain, and much more than the box of chocolates or flowers, my man is still incomparable. Nothing beats than to have him in your life.

Friendship

I remember my bestfriend whom i was so close with, he was the only guy i was really so close in all my batchmates, when i was suspended during my college years, he initiated a protest against the management coz he felt the later did not exercise fully my students right. Because he was the school studentry president, he was also suspended by the school administrator for what he has done, but he simply accepted it because he doesnt want to leave me alone. That doesnt stops there. Two years ago, i was rushed to the hospital because of over-fatigue, the rest of my office mates were really worried because i was just alone there. Since David is a constant caller, they called him up and told them what happened. SO he immedietly took his leave and takes good care of me. He was there when i celebrated my birthday at the hospital, he was there when i cried so hard because my former bf betrayed me, he was there when the world seems so unfair on my side. I remember last year on my birthday, he made an specialy delivery of ballons and chocolates to my office and gave a simple yet meaningful card. Our friendship was tested by time and of trials and shortcomings. Yet we remain strong and proved a concrete union bound by trust and of great value to each other. I use not to trust men by then not until my bestfriend proved to me that you cant really knew a man exactly not even the way he dressed or the way he smile, its with the chance to be with him and as you surpass the challenge of time that you can really know if he is worth keepin for.

I am not closing my doors for someone or for anyone, as clarence says, i wouldnt stop loving until i find my perfect match. Its when u strive for unconditional love that would make love worth fightin for. And this journey has just started.....

Clarence's NOte

"Love is exactly what it implies..simply LOVE. Sometimes its offered and given without hestitation, and sometimes its given and offered with reservations,its what humans do. The key is to strive to LOVE unconditionally"

I wanted to start this post by sharing to you one of the comments in my previous post given by Clarence, I am really so touched of his comment really, coz true enough LOVE is given without hesitations but somehow there are also cases that it is given with reservations. As i was done redaing his comment i began to realize, true indeed, we are hurt sometimes because there are expectations from our partner and somehow we are demanding something from our significant others over things that should not be. First, we should try to accept some facts that love is a gift and not an obligation, thats why there are lots of brokenhearted because they felt their partner did not do what they expect them to do. Luckily i can say that i am fortunate that i met someone who was really an open-minded. Now i realize his point, you are right babe..why dont we enjoy what we have and lets see what we can do soon. I am wrong of rushing things out this time, im sorry if i was being so emotional, maybe because i didnt understand what you fully mean by then. Its just good that you are a good person and that you had the patience to embrace my imperfections.

I would love if we can talk things out in the phone babe, coz you knew how much i missed you already..I love u so much.

SANTINO..

BRAVO!, cheers to the cast and productions crews and staff and of course to the management of ABS - CBN for the great success and excellent ending of May Bukas Pa, i knew a lot of bloggers will have great reviews on this said primetime series, but i really cant help it but blog about this thing. The teleserye is one of the few series in the television that had excellent moral adhersity to its viewing public. I want to commend the people behind this series to come up with this television remake, truelly inspiring. Aside from that, its a wake up call and for everyone of us, as we reflect our faith and our relationship to HIM. I am truelly blessed for having the chance to be an avid fan of SANTINO and his journey. I am also thankful that this series truelly contributed moral and spiritual guidance to every households.

What IF?

If things maybe not right then now? when it the right time? and if you did had the chance to make proper choices, would you choose the right thing, when the right thing is being friends and did not start as lovers? Maybe our paths crossed because we do have lessons to be earned, its just sad that we have to know it the hard way. And now we do realized things and we were sorry for starting things wrong, but are there really exact standards to follow as to when and who to fall in love with? Why is it very predominant in the game of love to have more mistakes than happy endings? Is it because theres really no rules in love? or is it because we just dont have the heart and true meaning of what really love is?

If love is about pain, then i guess i would be willing to earn the suffering and if love is about happiness, then much more that i wanted to enjoy the feeling of being other centered and forgetting one's selfs. But what if love is about both? taking pains to finally get a sought after happy endings. And if happy endings are really worth it then i would be very glad to be hurt for you if ending up with you is the ultimate price.

Still Missed U

I will be hypocrite if ill say that i was over him, i missed him really, so much. I missed his voice, i missed the thought of looking forward to chat with him, somehow its really not that easy, i wish it is. I realized it was best if we started as friends and did not cross the borders, but what if we started as lovers and eventually try to redo things and start as being friends, is it possible? perhaps it is, but how could i control myself from feeling the same way as i did before, should i redo my feelings too and start from something as if he was a stranger and pretend i dont know him or worst pretend that he was not special. Wish i could do that, and forget him that easy, wish i could just vanished the thought that he is a great man and that every woman is lucky to have him, wish i didnt fall in love with him and just view things as like a normal game like what they usually do at the net, but at the end of the day, i guess i have made the best choice, of just being true, of loving someone i dont know. Perhaps its one of the most stupid things ive ever done in my life, but at least i did had this chance of realizing things in a better perspective. At least...at least..., the only fault i knew was falling in love with him, if this is a crime or if this wrong, im willing to suffer the consequence.

:-(

I have had enough stories to tell in my life. Some had brought me the smiles and some are those that are not worth telling for. There are those too that i believe keeping it within my heart was the best thing to do. Our stories are just one of the few memories that i will cherish forever. I didnt want to go but the situation needs it babe, i dont want to cut the rope that binds me to you but this is the only thing best for us now. The distance is really killing us and everyday is just a survival game, of longingness and of imagination. I appreciate every inch you did for the relationship, i am flattered of the big and small things you did for me. I couldnt ask for more anymore for the love that you have shown to me. I guess im starting to believe that sometimes love isnt just enough, no matter how two of you have exerted all the efforts, time would really come that you need to let go of his hand coz you want him to be happy. Babe i cried because i couldnt keep the pain - of the thought that its very hard for you to keep the relationship. Sometimes i dont want to think of you coz if i do, i am just thinkin of how unfair love seems to. When you think you met him at the perfect day but you have an imperfect situations. I used to believe that love can be work out so as relationship but the harder we try the more that we would get hard at the finish line. You were right babe, how much more if we meet and the day came again that we will part aways, isnt it much harder? I dont know when is the perfect time for us, if theres any? but i dont have doubt that i have found the perfect man in you.

For the very last time, allow me to utter the three special word that i knew is for you and will be for u only "i Love You", i may not tell you everyday how much you mean to me but i always do. remember babe, we met at just an ordinary day but seems i couldnt forget that day now, that ordinary day brings out something special tagged as the unforgettable day in my life. I ought just not to leave offline message coz its hurting deep inside of me, as to how i could say goodbye to the man i love. I knew youll read this eventually, theres just no purpose why i wrote here, but i believe this blog was very instrumental in keeping us together. And this blog knew everything that we went thru and all the in-betweens.

Thank you babe for being you, for loving me and for sharing your dreams to me. You know i may not have told you this, but i am touched by everything that you have done. You have always managed to call me and talk to me almost everyday no matter how busy you are, I dont remember a day when you didnt leaved me an offline message, which i will miss soon. Sometimes even if we promised to meet on the net after you called up and even if i didnt shown up, you didnt get mad. And who will forget the day when i was so down, you were there to advice me of what i should and shouldnt have done next time. Enough of that coz i could just remember that night when i couldnt help but smile about the silly things we enjoyed sharing with.

To my babe i will miss you so much, but i guess we dont have a choice right now, you need this and perhaps we need this too. I will surely miss your voice, your offline message, the way you care and the silly and the non-silly things we have shared and laughed.

I was thinkin of the right word to end this, but i couldnt think of one.

Hope this one works :-(

When is Enough an Enough?

Dear heart,

I never failed in reminding you always to be very cardeful in all the things you do and you dont know. I always tells you to takes good care of yourself and dont allow others to stepped back on you and leave you breathless. I always tells you never to trust at the very first beat, learn to takes time and allow the feelings to grow, never rush and weigh things as possible. But you betrayed her once again, i dont know exactly what u did, but i find her crying and she didnt even bother to greet me like she usually did, she is thinking about you and wanting you so deep and intense. Ive told you once that she has done already all the stupidty in this world but that doesnt mean she doesnt deserves to be love, everybody is meant for somebody and i just want you to be wiser this time. Learn not to trust yourself but to trust me too, we should goes hand in hand so that she will not be hurt again and again and again. She said enough of the pain, she said once to me that she is already tired, isnt that enough reason for you to take good care of yourself so that you wont be broken again. Did you forgot that just last year, i have seen you breathless and into tiny little pieces, we have picked you up and my friend named "Time" takes good care of u. remember i allow you to be with him all the time until your healed, and now after a few months i was very happy to look at you, so fresh and so blomming, enough for me to realize that you are ready for a brand new start. And now look at you, you are falling in love again to man i never knew, how could i guide you when u dont even dare to introduce him to me. You once beg to leave you coz u were very sure about him, but i didnt, you're asking too much. Youre asking for a heartache again. How could i leave you at miseries, even if im on top there was no single day when i couldnt afford to reach you. Now pls leand me your hadn, lets think and beat for the person who beats and thinks for us.

PS:

Dont forget to rest, youre too tired now, if you cant sleep just think of me and ill beat for you.

Love,

Brain

Ideal Gifts

Do you have in mind already as to what present you will give to your love ones? probably you hav ein mind flowers or perhaps stuff toys or chocolates? Just a little pointer, every woman really dreams and wishes to receive flowers from the man they loved, its actually flattering and overwhelming feeling to received such gift. But eversince i really dont have stories to tell in valentines, my friends does have every heart's day celebration, they always receive flowers from their over romantic hubby. But there is one special event once in the celebration of love's day, When i was still at my work, i was shocked when a man handed one beautiful and red rose to me, exactly at my table, i asked him who gave that but to my dismay he didnt tell me as to who aked him to do that. Until the end of the day i really dont know who do that, the card just state "to the sweetest person ive ever known",hmmm he was sweet but i never knew who he was, my bestfriend whom the only man i ever am close with ended up courting me, we were best friends way back from our college years, he is always updated as to whom im dating with and every now and then, he would advice me if he thinks the man is not good to me. He is actually a playboy, yeah ive knew that, but i knew i am the only woman whom she cried with..hehhe. She would always tells me that im very bratty but to his note, i am the sweetest girl she ever know, no pretentions and just a real me. Before he left, he proposed to me, marriage proposal and it was the very first time he has done that. I was very touched the way he acted but eventually i realize that its also my fault being so close to him, maybe or maybe not he hadnt control his feelings as a guy or just maybe he has found his ideal girl in my personality. But whatever it is, i just missed him..i missed his sweetness always. I am not in touch anymore with him but i always wish for him to be happy in whoever arms he is right now.