Where did it go?

Thought and Thoughts

Why do we have terrifying thoughts sometimes? is it the result of over-fatigue, lack of faith? maybe yes and maybe not, my friend once told me that if u dont want to think of the problem then let the problem think of u, hahahha, funny but its true, the more we think of our dilemma, the more that it will bring us fears and anxiety, it even caused us nervous breakdown and worst heart attack.

Well, im just having some thoughts lately, about why and why i havent been in a good relationship? i mean its not that im desperate enough, not that..its just that i have already the doubt whether theres something wrong in me, or if not me, in them? how ironic but i like to admit that i am really in love with the idea of falling in love but the idea doesnt not fall in love with me.I was thinkin that if ever i will find the right man, i will really takes good care of him, to the point that even if he realized that he doesnt wants me anymore at least theres no regret in my side, at least ive fall in love, at least i have shown to him how wonderful i am, at least i have given him my best, at least i knew how to love...coz even to if im the least person he may ever known, at least i was the woman who have loved him like he ws never loved before, that made any difference.

Team Purefoods

Im sorry to disappoint the Alaska Acers fans, but just an hour ago we won the game 3 pf the Philippine Cup and on Wednesday the game 4 will be held still at Araneta Coliseum, the standing is now 3-0 in favor of Purefoods with the best of 7 game. After 3 years, this is finally the event for my team Purefoods with of course the future MVP, James Yap. I am an avid fan of James Yap, i super loved him. I loved the way he is humble but the best player for the team. Go team Purefoods!!!!!

Goodnight

Well and well, i was here to post some updates, hmmm, nothing much to share except that i miss u all guys, im here alive and kickin. I wish i have more time to share everything that is happening in my life now, but i guess i should reserved this dramas in days to come. For the mean time, ill park my finger and rest, goodnight guys, sweet dreams

Love or MOney

You Would Choose Love

Money may buy a little happiness, but not the happiness of true love. You rather have a true soulmate than a private jet. And while many people may claim they would choose love too... You're one of the few who would really do it.

Would You Choose Love or Money?

Blogthings: 100's of Fun, Free Quizzes and 3 Stupid Ones

The Devil Wears Prada

This is a great and a must-read novel by Lauren Weisberger, This is a story about a woman named Andrea Sachs who was hired as editorial assistan by the famous Miranda Priestly. This is what im reading right now and i totally loved the story and the way the author presented a different genre, you can really relate to the characters especially if youre a career woman. I love how the main character was presented in such a way that youll be fascinated to character. You can reflect with the story especially if you have a boss as demanding and capricious as Andrea's boss.hehehe

An Apology

I knew i owe you one, i owe an apology to you, i dont know how to start this but i knew how it ends, i realize the consequence of my actions when i finally realize i have let you go, you are right a relationship will never become a relationship unless the two of you made an effort to make the relationship work. For everything that was said and done, i am sorry for being so stupid enough and for being so insensitive. I wish i could tell everyone how lucky i am to have known you and see a part of you. You are one of the few people who have come in my life that i can say, worth keepin for. And pls if i may say, you have the most wonderful and kindest heart a man could ever had. I knew my mistakes and i recognize my shortcomings, yes i am imperfect but i guess its not my imperfections that drives this things to what we are now but its me being childish, bratty and worst the inconsiderate in me. Time can only tell what will happen next but believe me, our past and our memories are worth of my imagination. Im sorry for all those times that youve waited and i did not come, im sorry for celebrating the valentines alone, im sorry if you felt i was not makin an effort, im sorry if i have let you go. I knew these cant change things nor make any difference but just the thought that you knew that i value our relationship is enough, this may not cause anything to us but this will be a good start..

I believe that apologizing to someone does not mean that he is right and the other is wrong...it simply means that you value your relationship more than your ego.

Choice and Choices

It was a fine weather that greeted me as i wake up just 30 minutes before 9 in the morning, it was just 5 more days to go before Christmas day. As i checked the clock, oh my, i forgot to alarm last night, i should have woke up very early coz im going to the southern part of the region, hmmm dont ask why? you knew that already, when a girl does climb the highest mountain or dive the deepest sea, its all for the one and only reason - for the man of her life. True indeed, i finally found my self just few distance more before ill knock at his office, apperantly i feel something stranged, i feel like theres something wrong, my hearts beats faster as if im nervous, i can feel a cold sweat on my hand, i began to ask myself?,whats wrong?hmmm, maybe because im just super excited but i bet not, all these doubts was answered when i opened the door of their office and found him with an another girl, they were at their sweetest position, a girl could not think otherwise, than to conclude that theyre a couple. I wanted to ask, who was the girl but my toungue seems shy to move, but tears fall. I knew it, my heart betrays me again, i couldnt keep the pain in just there, i couldnt make my heart pretend and worst i gave up the bomb thats threateaning to explode in my heart. With no choice, i unburden the emotional bomb infront of the two person i choose not to be with at that time.

I was leaved with two choices, to leave and just stepped away or to face them and pretend that everything will be alright, I choose the later. If you would ask me now, if it was insanity that drives me to choose that, i will tell you, it was not. I believe that facing them off was the best thing to do than to hide all my questions and what if's and choose not to be answered and regret after all. It was the hardest decision i have ever made, it was like facing the truth when you knew that truth will hurt you like the cut of a knife but if truth hurt, isnt a lie hurts most? Keeping and believing a lie for almost 2 years was the one that is much painful, the one day face off was the beginning and the end of my miseries, and i wanted to believe that it was the best decision in my life. Choice tore us apart but my choice made me the complete woman i am right now.

My friends always reminds me to forget and learn to move on, i do and i honestly have move forward but memories are part of us and part of our yesterday. THough we have forget the pain but the scar can never be vanished. I am not feeling the same way anymore nor have kept a special place for him, its just the story of the past that made me share as ive remembered his name. Quite cliche, but as i borrowed what the famous writer have used, sharing a part of you does not mean u havent move on rather reminiscing the past is a clear indication how youre confident of sharing your mistakes to be a lesson and a constant reminder of how you were able to get rid of the painful memories,have moved on, was healed and now a new persona.

Like the wind that passes by and comes back, my stories reminds me of how our choices leads us to where we should be. It may not be so ideal or happy as what we ought our stories to be but it will surely be a story that is worth tellin for. A battle of what should be done and what i havent done.At the end of the day, no matter how my choice has driven a sad love story but it completely turns back my identity, my respect and my self-worth. Can there's still be happy ending?

Sisterete

Allow me to share to you guys how happy i am today for my little sis. the good news is, she is chosen as the official candidate of our region to be one of the contestants in the debate contest in the league of private schools in the country. I am really overjoyed of the mere fact that my sister does so well in her studies, i am proud of the fact that at least all my efforts and sacrifices were paid off, i mean i just so loved my sister so much. Just an hour ago i was at their school to help her in her other documents and get her ticket as well. We did had a good time together though we were on the long queue most of the time, but it all ended up pretty well. OH, i will miss her for two weeks when shes gone, i dont know how to spend the day and especially the night without her, coz mostly we had a usual chitchats about anything under the sun, but its alright, i knew she will not be that long there. You know what i have lots of things to be thankful about, First and foremost because i have a loving and supportive family, my support system is very intact, coz when you are emotionally drained and crippled, they are the one and only family who would be there for you, lucky if you have other shoulders aside from them, lucky if you have the boyfriend or a friend to count on but always and almost the latter usually vanished when youre at your lowest times. Ive just learned that recently..

To my sweety sister, just want to tell you how much i appreciate the bonding we had, i may not tell you everyday how your presence changes the emptiness in me but just once and just for today allow me to tell you how much i appreciate everything youve done for me, i may not be able to express how much i love u and how proud of you because youre my sister, but believe me i really do. Whenever you feel that no one seems to care about you, just bear in mind that im just behind u, no need for demands coz im willing to stick with you without hesitation.

Hearts Day

Yesterday was the most lovers waited for, its the day intended to those who have finally found the man and the woman of their life. BUt as for me, it was just a day for celebration of singlehood. This is my first time i celebrated this special day just at home, with my family. Nevertheless i realized, valentines is not only for lovers, rather its also about love for your significant others like for your family, friends and people close to your heart - this is usually the excuse of the loveless, like me.(hehehhe). BUt believe it or not, as this day approaches i have lots of compelling reasons why is should not be sad on this day, though i find it hard at first to convince myself but truelly i have lots of reasons to celebrate and put a smile on this day, first and foremost because i knew from myself that i have peace of mind, second i have finally unburden all the garbages that has been in my heart for so long and lastly because finally i am ready to take another chance, im ready for another emotional roller coaster again, with someone hopefully that could complete the puzzle. But of course, i had few reasons too why i choose not to celebrate the love's day. First because i am sad of the fact that i have lose communication with a great friend. Im missing him really, but i knew he has the best reason why he cut the rope that attached him to me and vice-versa and i would like to respect that. Though i have developed feelings for him already, i would like to believe that this is the best thing for us, coz eventually if it isnt right, everything will fall into places at teh right time. They all say that its about destiny, coz if you are really meant for each other, it will just happen at the right time and to the right person. I guess, he just gets tired of the situation and cant blame him, but i would just leave it up to GOD, everything that happened was purposedly done and according to his plan. I may never understand at this very moment the reason why our paths crossed but hopefully at HIS time it will be answered.